My relationship with religion - Part I

Does religion need to be taught?

This may seem like a silly question, I mean there is a book of christ that millions of people around the world study, dissect and interpret. There are professors of religion with PhD's and there are schools devoted to teaching the religious leaders of the future. So it would seem, of course! Religion needs to be taught and studied like any other science.

However, to me, doesn't religion seem more credible if you came upon it yourself? In other words, if you just absorbed the world around you and without anyone else's input, came to your own conclusions, conclusions that helped you explain the unexplainable, and brought you comfort and peace, isn't that just as good if not better than organized religion?

I grew up in a house where religion and God were not taught. That is to say that God was neither purposefully introduced to us, nor kept secret. I had religious friends and nonreligious friends, and I do not remember ever having anyone try to convert me one way or another. But I did have a spirituality- I distinctly remember myself trying to figure out why babies died, and why bad people sometimes got away with doing bad things. And all by myself, I never discussed this with anyone, I came up with my own answer: reincarnation. Babies died because in a previous life time, they were bad people. And bad people? Well, they will get their due justice in their next life times. It was just an inherent belief- and I imagine that many people who identify with certain organized religions feel that this is wrong. But why? Why should my beliefs receive any less credit than your own?

Real friends

I have just returned from a wonderful dinner with some great friends and am left with this revelation:

You never know who your best friends will be, so it pays to be friendly to everyone and to give everyone a chance.

Some context: I started a new program four years ago and at that time, I judged many of my classmates very early on, trying to weed through to see who would make the cut and be worthy of my companionship (snobby I know, but everyone did the same). But boy did this not pan out! Initially I looked out for whom I thought were 'good' people- people who shared similar values to me and seemed most agreeable. I remember meeting a number of people who didn't meet my initial criteria and I wrote them off.

Four years later, who has stuck? Not the goody-two-shoes I had had my eyes on (thank goodness), but those who I originally thought had too many flaws and differences. Turns out it is these people who are most loyal and who were always there when I needed them most, which happens to be the times when my flaws were most exposed.

Relationships and undergrad formal

I had my year-end undergraduate formal three days ago and I still can not get over what a bad time I had. It was all about expectations...

Several things:
1) It was a social WAR out there- it takes a lot of confidence, a lot of moves, and a lot of savvy to navigate a crowd of people you don't know well. I for one am terrible at it! How do people cope with it? From my observations:
a. they have a significant other or a designated person/group who is their safety blanket
b. they are drunk
c. they are just that good and have the skillz
d. they are oblivious to the awkwardness of the evening and could have gone on a date with a cactus and still had a good time

I unfortunately were none of these things...it is no wonder I did not have a good time. (But on an optimistic note, had a better time than if I were embracing a cactus...)

2) I was snubbed several times and I could not help but take some of them personally. It caused me to re-evaluate friendships and tempted me to write some off. This is NOT a good idea because in large social events like this, no one EVER acts like themselves (plus the alcohol), and people are much more concerned about appearances than anything else. So I am working hard to convince myself to have confidence in my friendships and that one debauched night of snubbery means nothing.

3) How to re-write the evening so I feel better about it? So I feel better about myself?

The conclusion of the night: DON'T TAKE ANYTHING PERSONALLY! IT IS NOT PERSONAL!

My relationship with my El Guapo

First, watch The three Amigos.

Everyone has one, an "El Guapo" aka arch nemesis. Mine happens to be a petite, ethnic girl who tries waaaaaaaaay too hard to be a caucasian valley girl. What's with that?

A couple things:

1) I don't understand girls who act differently towards someone depending on his/her gender. And it is usually a girl who is annoyingly flirty around boys, and anally selective with her girlfriends. My arch nemesis would only talk to me when I was talking to a guy, or if she was bored and needed to look socially occupied. Not cool.

2) What makes a girl that way? Do these girls have any insight into how flaky and fake they are?

3) Even in her fair-weather ways, it took me a while to write her off. I bounced between feelings of "is-she-a-good-person-I-have-just-misunderstood?" to "what-a-self-absorbed-b*atch-what-is-her-problem?" and in the end, I have come to this conclusion: Not worth it.

Clearly she has some underlying insecurities, and I don't care. I will judge you based on how you treat me and those I care about. I am working on weeding these kinds of people out of my life.